A few more words from Nigel Dudley about the challenge of making conversation when bereaved:

“If I wanted to get one serious message over in my article it was this. One is always hearing groups representing people who are going through something traumatic that most people do not come into contact regularly – degenerative illenesses, mental and physical handicap or bereavement – condemning the wider public for not responding properly to those who are in this condition.
“My argument is that, rather than condemning the wider world for its failure to understand, those of us who do go through something traumatic have an obligation to explain how we feel and what we need. And when we do so I have no doubt our friends and family and colleagues will respond generously.
“It is no use those who go through traumas condemning ignorance when we have done nothing to explain things ourselves.”

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